Opps, did I do that?

Haha I can’t help but laugh as I write this. The title of this blog will render meaning the moment you finish reading this. Currently my ‘aw-ha’ moment came from this section of the book I’m currently reading. Which I’m very impressed that I picked up and decided to read. It will be hard to write this because I just want to copy this whole section in here. But I don’t think I can do that legally and it is hard to write about 5 pages (it would take too long). I want to write out everything I highlighted first and then explain why I did.

Under the Section: ‘Kind Words’

On the other hand, we can share hurt, pain, and even anger in a kind manner, and that will be an expression of love

You will seek understanding and reconciliation, and not to prove your own perception as the only logical way to interpret what has happened. That is mature love-love to which we aspire if we seek a growing [relationship].

We cannot erase the past. We can only confess it and agree that it was wrong.

Forgiveness is a way of love

I’m amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday.

The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history.

Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender.

**Love makes requests not demands**

If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other’s desires. If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.

We make our needs and desires known in the form of a request, we are giving guidance, not ultimatums.

When you make a request of your [partner], you are affirming his/her worth and abilities. You are in essence indicating that they have something or can do something that is meaningful and worthwhile to you. When, however, you make demands, you have become not a lover but a tyrant. Your [partner] will feel not affirmed but belittled. A request introduces the element of choice. Your mate may choose to respond to your request or to deny it, BECAUSE LOVE IS ALWAYS A CHOICE. That’s what makes it meaningful. To know that my [partner] loves me enough to respond to one of my requests communicates emotionally that they care about me, respects me, admires me, and wants to do something to please me. We cannot get emotional love by way of demand. My [partner] may in fact comply with my demands, but it is not an expression of love. It is an act of fear or guilt or some other emotion, but not love. Thus, a request creates the possibility for an expression of love, whereas a demand suffocates that possibility.

Basically if there is something I have learned from this past month or so, minus that I have no patience, is that 1. The past needs to be part of history and not ruin every new day that is capable for growth and 2. Requests vs. demands. That’s really all I got I think. I do love this book I’m reading because it is opening my eyes to a lot of what did not happen and what should have. And that maybe if I conveyed my demand as a request then thru love someone would have been able to make a choice showing so.